Seven years ago, when Marshal and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said, “Oh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty,” but Ted really liked her so we played ‘Haaaaave you met Ted’, they went to dinner, he walked her home, should have kissed her, didn’t, lame, so he stole a Smurf penis, went back to her place, should have kissed her, didn’t, lame, he threw three parties, they kissed on the roof, but decided to be friends, lame, then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding, she couldn’t go, so he went alone and met Victoria, didn’t kiss her either, lame, not a great closer Ted, then he finally kissed her, they started dating, she went to Germany, Ted kissed Robin, lost Victoria, Ted did a rain dance, Ted and Robin broke up, Robin went to Brazil, Robin came back with a Latin stud, Ted got jealous and got a tramp stamp, not really relevent to the story, I just like mentioning that as much as possible, I hooked up with Robin, Ted and I stopped being friends, Ted got hit by a bus, we made up. Robin and I started dating, I got fat, her hair fell out, we broke up, Robin dated Don, I dated Nora, cheated on her with Robin, I dumped Nora, Robin dated Kevin, but not for long, and then I met you, you took my grandpa’s watch, but I fell in love with you anyway, and you let me fart in front of you, and I asked you to marry me, and you said, “yes”, and then we came here to meet little Marvin, and that’s everything… Also I went on The Price is Right and I won a dune buggy.
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother in 52 seconds flat (via aseriousbunburyist)
Reblogged 1 year ago from nerdgirlproblems-archive